As we get older, some of our needs change. We have needs which are physical and sexual, mental and intellectual, emotional, social, spiritual, financial, etc., and we may need to think about planning to get our needs met in different ways, and in different amounts, in later life.

Particular issues for many older LGBs can be sources of real stress. As well as losses and loneliness, these include increasing fears about discrimination or harassment and concern about how to cope with them. For some older people, the effects of past legal rulings, or religious or psychiatric opinions and practices, may last into old age, and make them continue to lack confidence in themselves or ability to assert themselves as equal in their neighbourhoods or with professional services, or to report problems or make complaints.

There remains a great need for health care, social care and other services to make a positive effort to take account of older LGB people and their particular needs - in the information they provide about their services, in their policies and in training for their staff, in how they deal with complaints, and in the extent to which they include and consult their LGB service users.

In LGB communities, as in the rest of society, older people often feel – and often are – valued less and ignored more. Ageism, real and perceived, is real, and it takes belief in oneself, energy, effort, persistence, and resilience to keep asserting that life continues well beyond the interests and outlook of younger people. In fact, there is much to be gained for both younger and older people by LGB communities developing to include greater intergenerational social contact.

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What research there is around older LGB people and well-being indicates that a big issues is social isolation. Being more aware of this need – as if we didn’t already know about it! – can prompt us to try to plan to meet our needs by nurturing our friendships and relationships, family or otherwise, as much as asking for professional support and services. In this way we have a chance of getting our needs met for emotional & practical support. Similarly, by sharing in common interests or activities, taking some regular exercise with others, being involved in our communities, joining in a gay group or just seeing good mates over a drink, we can have fun, friendship, fulfillment and maybe even sex!

There are, of course, also joys, reliefs, freedoms and satisfactions from achievements associated with being older. However, there are also losses – people, health, employment which can be very stressful:

Negative ways some LGB&T people coping with their stressors include: alcohol and other substance abuse, deliberate self-harm and suicides – 1/3 of which are committed by over 55s in the general population. There are twice as many suicide attempts amongst LGB people, and over four times the rate of attempted suicide in the lifetimes of gay men.

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However, there are positive strategies for coping which include: being able to talk about or express your feelings with someone who respects you, having some regular social contact (different people need different amounts), having some kind of “say” or participation in your community (LGB or other), being able to ask for and get any health & social care you need, being informed about your rights and services, getting what benefits and entitlements there are for you, having some interests – old or new, being able to stand up for what you need. It is worth repeating that all the studies show that taking some regular physical exercise helps us cope better, and is one fantastic way to increase self-confidence, and to reduce anxiety and depression.

Clive Spendlove 
Mental Health Well-Being Worker

c.spendlove@mesmac.co.uk

Yorkshire Mesmac, P O Box 267 Bradford BD1 5XT

07913 264967

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